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This Cluttered Mind of Mine

by Ian Galipeau

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1.
Deep down inside this cluttered mind of mine I’m stuck behind the limits of these words. I’m confined to the thoughts that I can rhyme, And fit inside the meter of my verse. I don’t know where I’m going, But I guess it doesn’t matter what I say Or I don’t, ‘cause the world keeps spinning. I stand alone with this feeling in my bones That some unknown is the best that I can be, And when I’ve thrown my heart and soul into these songs I’ll sit upon my throne of anonymity. I don’t know if I’m wrong, But I don’t feel like it matters what I sing in these songs, ‘cause the world keeps spinning. I don’t know if I’m going, But I guess it doesn’t matter if I stay Or move on, ‘cause the world keeps spinning.
2.
Never Once 03:07
I never once thought you without your smile I never once thought you might not be with me in a while I never once thought you were less than gold I never once thought I would run and hide I never once thought I would be afraid when I looked inside I never once thought I would be the one to fold If there’s something I don’t know It’s what I am outside of us But there’s nothing down below And I’m afraid, and if I fall who can I trust? I thought I’d said too much But all the things I never said just kept on adding up I never once thought you weren’t my best friend I never once thought you might not be with me at the end I never once thought you were like the rest I never once thought I would fall away I never once thought I would not be there to wipe your tear-stained face I never once thought I would love you less If there’s something I don’t know It’s what I am outside of us But there’s nothing down below And I’m afraid and if I fall who can I trust? I thought I’d said too much But all the things I never said just kept on adding up I thought I’d said too much But all the things I ever said, they just weren’t enough
3.
Ever since I made sense of those thoughts I’d been thinking Things haven't been quite the way I remember them being before Beautiful you Remember when we forgot to forget ‘bout each other I don’t believe I ever thought you were anything other than Beautiful you All that it takes is one glance To bring me back down to myself All of the words I might say Won’t ever express what I’ve felt Once again I never said all the things I should say to you I just can’t sing well enough to say all that I wanted to Beautiful you
4.
I’ve hidden inside So long I don’t know what I’d say If words could escape my mind But I’m afraid if they did it might turn you away I write these songs ‘Cause I can’t just speak my thoughts They come out twisted and wrong As I tangle myself in your why’s and why not’s When you’re scared at night Just close your eyes and listen to the wind that blows outside When your scared at night Just close your eyes and know that everything will be just fine I don’t know where I’d stand if I were on my own I’ll break or I’ll learn to bear This fucked up place that my head calls home When you’re scared at night Just close your eyes and listen to the wind that blows outside When you’re scared at night Just close your eyes and know that everything will be just fine When you’re scared at night Just close your eyes and listen to the wind that blows outside When you’re scared at night Just close your eyes and know that everything will be all right
5.
I'd hold you tight just one last time if only I could Sometimes it takes some time to see this world the way I would if I Knew I could hold your hand Knew when I might see you again Don’t you cry I’ll be right here waiting inside every line That you sing in your heart or you dream in your mind Don’t you cry I’m going home Say goodbye just one last time if only I could I tried to take my time and trace the lines I thought you would if you Knew I might see you once more When I join you on the other side of those pearly doors Don’t you cry I’ll be here waiting inside every line That you sing in your heart or you dream in your mind Don’t you cry Don’t you cry ‘Cause the angels will sing and the church bells will chime As we raise up our songs and we sing our goodbyes Up to heaven through the cracks in the rose-colored skies I will live by the love that I learned from your eyes and I won’t cry
6.
Simple Song 04:25
When everything I know just falls apart And the last of my emotions blow away, The storm will leave the ruins of my heart And all of my regrets might finally fade. Where shadows cast a glow upon your face And silence hums a simple song out loud... Between the night and day there is a place Where heaven dances slowly through the clouds. And you looked at me While I let you down And all you could say Was not quite a sound And I won’t regret you…
7.
Perfect 03:40
Life is never quite as simple as it makes itself to be And I’ll surrender that I have yet to step beyond the shrinking confines of my vanity We’re pretending that this place is really where we meant to land ourselves I’m done defending my heart from these persistent thoughts threatening to break the spell And I could lie And say it isn’t so But why? Besides, You’ve got a right to know That nothing in this world Is perfect anyway. Every reason I can give for saying I believed when I did not Is selfish treason against the love I felt when summer melodies let me define my thoughts And I could lie And say it isn’t so But why? Besides, You’ve got a right to know That nothing in this world Is perfect anyway. And I could lie And say it isn’t so But why? Besides, You’ve got a right to know And now these sounds Will carry my words home ‘Cause nothing in this world Is perfect or ever was.
8.
Move On 03:34
Now you’re just staring at me While I mess it up And we’ll pretend together There’s nothing we could do to stop This from ending how it did And I’ll miss the way I’d kiss your forehead but it’s Time to move on And all those songs we sang They said it all And while some memories will fade The ones we shared could never stop This from ending how it did And I’ll miss the way we’d dance together but it’s Time to move on Someday I’ll send this letter And you can read And we can both remember All of our failed attempts to stop This from ending how it did And I’ll miss the way I’d kiss your forehead but it’s And I’ll miss your hair between my fingers but it’s Time to move on
9.
Katie 04:56
She settled down to write herself a note addressed it to a bump that'd yet to show. pen to page, she captured all her thoughts and stored them in the basement in a box 24 years old with life inside to let her know things had changed Home called me up again the other day to say the rain had washed my life away So I went back to part with my old dreams and found a box downstairs I had not seen 22 years late and right on time to let me know nothing's changed a folder filled with hopes and fears and dreams and ruminations on the life I'd lead even then you saw me here with my guitar sorting softly through confusion in my heart Your words reached through my pain and held me close and I know nothing's changed I mean to say I got your letter and read it through my tears you've always had a way of telling me to step beyond my fears 'cause heaven lies in how you look at all of what you see and I'm not sure I've got it yet but I want so badly to believe I am loved and it's all going to be okay
10.
So I 03:18
All the words I know Could never say how sorry I am But if it meant a thing I’d say them all again To you While your world fell apart I just stood and stared And when it mattered most I just wasn’t there For you. I’ve lived the life I have So I could make you proud, But I’m left singing thoughts I could never speak out loud To you. If I told you now The things I should have then Would you hear me out Or did I write the end For you?

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released March 17, 2012

All songs written and recorded by Ian Galipeau.

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Ian Galipeau Keene, New Hampshire

I write songs about ideas and characters I find interesting. I've always been fascinated by the grey areas in life, and writing music is one of the best ways I've found to explore the nuances.

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